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Discussion and Reviews on Reddit
Going to become a dad in 8 months, what's your go to dad pregnancy book? [R]1 year, 3 months agodespondentuser posted submission on predaddit.
Jan. 22, 2018
I was browsing Amazon but I need a more reliable source, so why not asking a bunch of strangers on the internet that share my point of view?
Help r/predaddit, what is the best book to prepare a future father?
Can't find a doctor to see us until end of 1st trimester [R]1 year, 4 months agoThoriway posted submission on predaddit.
Jan. 3, 2018
Hi there. We are a little over 8-weeks in, but because of the holidays we are only now able to start calling for a doctor appointment/consultation and it is looking tough to get in with even a nurse before the end of the month. We really want to see a doctor before the end of the first trimester. Any advice on finding a doctor would relieve a bit of growing stress, since we don't want to reach out to our friends and family yet.
From what I can tell, as long as we are doing folic acid, DHA and generally being healthy (and i scoop the cat's poop), there isn't much else to do. Is there anything we could be missing between now and whenever we are able to see a doctor?
Jan. 5, 2018
Just adding a bit:
- Meds/Drugs: If your gal is on any medications, call and ask if they're safe to stay on during pregnancy. Some medications (even some common ones) can have severe effects on the developing fetus.
- Herbs: Along the same lines, discontinue any natural/herbal supplements until you know they're safe to take during pregnancy. Many herbal supplements can act on the body in similar ways to modern medications.
- Diet: Make sure you fully wash your raw veggies. Fully cook your meats and eggs. As mentioned above, avoid fish that are high in mercury. Don't eat any raw or undercooked meats. Avoid soft cheeses unless they're made with pasteurized dairy products. If your gal is vegetarian/vegan, you might consider a B12 and/or iron supplement if your prenatal isn't already providing them.
- Alcohol/smoking: This goes without saying, but no drinking during pregnancy. I've heard rumors about red wine being okay, but haven't been able to confirm those rumors through any credible source. Most official standpoints currently state that any alcohol during pregnancy is bad. With that said, don't panic if she's had some to drink before you found out. :) No smoking. Period.
- Miscarriage: Don't let this scare you, but since these do happen, I thought I should mention it here. Roughly 10-25% of pregnancies miscarry. The vast majority of those happen before 12-13 weeks. In the event that a miscarriage happen, the best thing you can do is be supportive of your gal. She's likely to feel like it was her fault. In reality, the majority of miscarriages happen because the fetus had a problem with DNA and wasn't capable of surviving. Here's a resource if you'd like to learn more: CLICK
There's an EXTREMELY good book about pregnancy and what to expect here: CLICK
Above all, enjoy the ride! Things will be crazy, stressful, and (hopefully) a lot of fun. Good luck!!
Just found out I'm 29 weeks pregnant. Wtf do I do??? [R]1 year, 11 months agolillyflower6 posted submission on BabyBumps.
May 31, 2017
I'm scared fucking shitless to say the least. I had NO symptoms. I had put on some weight but it's not like I've been eating super healthy these past few months anyways. I went in to the ER with crazy pain on my right side (which the ER doctor diagnosed as round ligament pain). I have that thing where my placenta is up front and Baby is measuring small so ER doctor assumed that's why I haven't felt movement. They did an ultrasound and besides Baby measuring small, she looks fine. They gave me an August dye date
I'M SO FUCKING SCARED. I started calling OB's around my area and NONE f them will take me as their patient because I'm so far along. I've had ZERO prenatal care. The ultrasound tech at the emergency room said Baby looked fine. No abnormalities as far as she could see. But its fucking terrifying to think I'm going to have a baby in 11 fucking weeks and can't even see a doctor.
WTF DO I DO? I'm terrified of something being wrong with my baby and Ive had no idea. The ER doctor said to start taking 4 prenatal a day to make up for all the time Ive missed.
What steps do I take next to fix this epic fuck up of mine? I want Baby to be healthy. I'm really scared a docgtor won't see me before August and I'll end up having to give birth in my fucking bath tub or some bullshit. Ive already called a place that specializes in 3D / 4D ultrasounds so if I have to go there every week until I give birth to make sure Baby is oka y then thats what I'll do
Someone please give me advice or help on this. I'm trying so hard not to break down in this hospital room as I wait for my discharge papers. Holy fucking shiiiit
May 31, 2017
Although with everyone else, I don't think the 4 prenatals a day is correct. Just take one for now until you see your OB. You can find these over the counter in the US. I take Nature Made Prenatal. You don't want to take too much vitamins, this could be very dangerous for your baby-- just take the amount the bottle says to take.
I don't think just getting an ultrasound is going to make a difference. It's not the ultrasound but the interpretation (by an obgyn or radiologist) that matters. So unless you have a lot of extra money, I think getting extra ultrasounds will be a waste.
You won't have to deliver in a bathtub. If push comes to shove, just go to the ER when you are ready, but I don't think it will resort to that. Next time you call an obgyn and they say no, ask them who will take me. Religious and community health organizations might also have an idea of places that can take you. Friends and family might have an idea. You are not the only or first person at all to find out this late a long, someone will take you. You just need to call a lot. Do you have a family physician you can make an appointment with? He/She might be able to help guide you in the right direction and get you into a place as well-- all medical providers have some training in ob stuff so a general practitioner should be able to tell you the very basics at least (or at least help guide you).
Make sure you stop drinking alcohol, tobacco products, and illegal substances if you are taking any . Medications are tricky-- sometimes you don't want to stop them right away, I would wait to talk to a medical provider for advice on that.
Finally, go to the bookstore (like now) and get a good pregnancy book. I like Mayo Clinic Guide to pregnancy. Keep in mind there are bad pregnancy books- try to stick to something medical.
Take this one day at a time, you still have some time to go and even though this is tough, this is certainly do able! Please try not to think about the past and things you did when you didn't know you were pregnant- we can't change the past and babies are really resilient.
On a side note, I work in health care, and a year ago had a gal a few weeks less than you who ended up pregnant (like you she also came in complaining of abdominal pain!). She was super worried about it-- she even admitted to some instances drinking a lot and was on some prescription meds that aren't exactly considered safe during pregnancy (which we took her off of)-- and she of course stopped drinking right away.. In the end, the baby came out FINE and is adorable. You can do it too!
Looking for Advice [R]1 year, 11 months agoModAnnDIL posted submission on BabyBumps.
May 25, 2017
Hello, everyone! My wife was about a week over her cycle, so she took a pregnancy test yesterday and it came back positive! We have been married 9 months and this is our first. Also, it's VERY unexpected! Last night, all we could do is look at each other and say, "what do we do now?!"
So, that's my question! When should we go to the doctor? How confident can we be that she's really pregnant? Any and all advice would be great. My wife is scared, but also excited, and I want to be able to help as much as I can, even though through this amazing thing I am mostly helpless :)
EDIT: Wow, these replies are so encouraging. Thank you, everyone!!
May 26, 2017
Congrats! Start taking prenatals if she isn't already.
Call her preferred midwife or OB.
Plan for her to be exhausted during the first trimester and to have food aversions or cravings. Take good care of her - it sounds like you will. :)
Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy was my favorite pregnancy book.
When do I need to actually start planning things? [R]2 years, 7 months agoOMGSpaghettiisawesom posted submission on BabyBumps.
Sept. 20, 2016
Hello! I am about 12+5, ftm, and am just now starting to let myself believe that everything is going well and that I can get excited and start making plans for the baby. The problem is that I feel like I have no idea when I really need to start on most things. So I'm just wondering when you all:
- Looked into hiring a doula
- Started buying baby items and getting the nursery ready
- Found childcare for post maternity leave, if that was available to you. (I'm in the Bay Area if that helps)
- Ummmm ??? I feel at a loss with all the things I know I need to be thinking about that I essentially haven't really been thinking about anything besides what food I'm putting in my face and reading as many books as I can while I still have time. Ha.
Does anyone have a good resource for a timeline of what you need to get ready and when? I am afraid I'm going to wait too long on some item and be screwed when the baby gets here. Thanks fellow bumpers!
Here it is! The 'FTM, OMG I just found out I'm preggo!' ALL THE THINGS! Post :) [R]2 years, 8 months agoferptor posted submission on BabyBumps.
Aug. 31, 2016
A FTM posted a few weeks ago asking what to expect. A lot of bumpers found this comment useful and asked me to write a separate post about it. Feel free to comment.
Disclaimer: This is purely written from what I've read and experienced. In no way am I a doctor, nor is what I've experienced going to happen for everyone. I try to be unbiased as much as I can and have also tried to sum up what other bumpers have talked about here. Here goes!
Start taking prenatals. Labdoor is an independent resource that can help you choose which one is best. Vitamins aren't regulated, so some don't contain everything they're supposed to. I take Rainbow Lite with a DHA supplement. You definitely want DHA somewhere in there for healthy brain development.
Books that are widely recommended by bumpers are Expecting Better by Emily Oster - She's an economist that does a great job getting through the weeds of different pregnancy studies. And What to Expect book is helpful, too. I like to use it more like an encyclopedia.
Don't forget about your partner. My fiance is reading The Expectant Father I've been impressed by how he's kept up with the pregnancy. I bought him "Dude, you're going to be a dad" early on and he said it was more frat-boy how to get out of responsibilities rather than the vital info he needed to know.
A lot of bumpers ask about bleeding, cramping, and other symptoms in the first few weeks. The answer is always... if you bleed and it's brownish or really light, no biggie. If you bleed bright red, you might have an issue. If you have blood + cramping, there's definitely an issue and you need to get to the doc PRONTO. I, personally, had cramping during week 5... and sometimes brown sometimes red spotting up until week 12.
You're going to want a pregnancy pillow... they're GLORIOUS (and I don't know how I lived without one before, honestly). My dear fiance got me a Snoogle. It's heaven.
First trimester morning sickness suuuucks. Some women vomit, some don't. My symptoms completely vanished at 9weeks and I thought it was the oddest thing. I never actually vomited, but came close. You always hear about food cravings, but I'd never heard about aversions until I got pregnant. I literally didn't want anything. Ginger ale, oyster crackers, mints... all that stuff really does help.
A lot of bumpers discover maternity (pants, at least) way too late! I started wearing them at 10/11 weeks and it made a world of difference! Motherhood Maternity has clearance sales all the time. Other bumpers have suggested thrift stores or craigslist for awesome finds. Whatever works for you - just don't feel like you're getting into them "too early". Nonsense! ;)
You definitely want to go see an OBGYN or a Midwife. They'll do an ultrasound to ensure the fetus has a heartbeat (usually after 8w) as well as dating the pregnancy, etc. You will also have a pap smear and STD testing done.
Doulas are great. They can help guide you through labor and give you support. Even bumpers with husbands, etc have a doula so they can let their partner be supportive in their own way.
Standard care in the US: You go to the doc every 4 weeks starting at 8 weeks. Then, you'll start on a 2 week schedule around 32 weeks, then you'll go every week for the last few weeks of pregnancy. Each time, be prepared to pee in a cup - they're checking for sugars, etc.
If you get genetic testing, (this varies widely, I've gathered) you can go with MaterniT21 or Panorama. This is done around 12 weeks and results are back in a week. Tests for chromosomal abnormalities (and you can find out gender!)
Most FTM's feel fetal movement around 18 weeks (give or take). I felt it a bit early at almost 14 weeks. It was super cool! You'll feel it more and more as baby gets bigger. Then, they'll start dancing and rolling, etc. in the later parts of the 2nd trimester and on. 26w is when you want to start doing kick counts. You'll count the number of moves your LO makes within a 2 hr span. It should be greater than 10. My LO is most active at 1am or so, so I usually do my counts then.
Around week 20 you should get an ultrasound that will tell you the sex of the baby and a full scan to ensure nothing is wrong. This can happen between 18-22 weeks.
Gestational diabetes test will happen around 24 weeks. It's fun, you drink a sugary drink and they draw your blood to ensure you're metabolizing sugar correctly. If you fail the first test, there's a longer, more extensive 3 hour test you can take. Contrary to popular belief, GD has NOTHING to do with how much weight you've gained, what you've eaten, etc. It has everything to do with how your body produces insulin and reacts to the pregnancy. There's r/gestationaldiabetes that is amazing for this.
During the GD test, they found out I was also anemic and prescribed Iron supplements. This seems to be common among pregnant women. If this is the case for you, the best way to take them is in the smallest dose possible (up to the prescribed amount) and with Vitamin C. Apparently calcium hinders absorption. I take it in addition to the iron that's in my prenatal.
Baby registries! Some bumpers are careful about what they put on theirs. I say, GO FOR IT! Let people have options to choose from. You're not expecting everyone to buy everything, so why not? Most stores give great registry bags with samples and coupons. Most will also give a completion discount, including Amazon.com. Babies R Us does a fun thing where they give you 10% of the total spent on your registry by everyone who has purchased something on the registry. It's a nice gift you'll get after your due date.
I see a lot of bumpers talking about new vs. used items... it is most commonly recommended to NOT go with a used car seat. They have expiration dates and you can't be certain if it's been in an accident before unless you know the people well.
A lot of bumpers ask about the Tdap shot. It's a shot that contains immunization for Pertussis (whooping cough). You'll get it in your 3rd trimester so that you can pass some immunity on to the baby. The CDC recommends that fathers and family members also get this shot as getting whooping cough can be deadly for baby. It needs to be done at least 2 weeks before they see baby for it to have time to take effect. Some families balk at the idea of this (my future in-laws did) so be prepared to have this conversation early.
Creating a birth plan is an excellent idea. I have created mine and it includes lots of wishes, but ultimately happy and healthy baby and mama are the main goal. Be sure to include what you want in terms of epidurals, episiotomy, pain management, labor tactics, if you want your LO to have a golden hour, when to bathe, k-shots, etc.
Pack your bags around 36 weeks. There are tons of great threads of mamas talking about what was useful and what wasn't. I'd suggest looking into those! Start making freezer/crock pot meals around 35-36 weeks as well. Your future self with baby in tow will thank you!
Free samples abound! Enfamil sends a nice package. BamBoobies offers two nursing pads for the cost of shipping - $2.99. Depends offers a few free samples and many bumpers have recommended these for when you come home from the hospital.
I've been doing prenatal water aerobics every week since about 22 weeks. I LOVE it! Oh Baby! Fitness has classes in major metro areas in the US that include Yoga, Water Aerobics, etc. It has helped me keep fit and it feels SO good to be in the water! Plus, I've connected with many pregnant mamas in my area. It's awesome :)
I also have seen a chiropractor since about 22 weeks. Your body is changing so rapidly and sometimes these aches and pains can go away with a little adjustment. I had some severe pain at 30 weeks... talked to my dr's office and they said "Welp, you're just pregnant!" I got an appointment with my chiropractor and he adjusted my tailbone. It felt better immediately!
Being forgetful and clumsy come with the territory. Baby brain is so real and progresses throughout. I can't remember things all the time - and I broke the SECOND dish in the past few weeks today. Slipped right out of my hand!
Cloth diapers vs. Disposable diapers is also a nice hot topic around here. We're going with disposables because my fiance is not on board with cloth. I could take it or leave it. There are pros and cons to both. Most daycares want you to have disposables, so keep that in mind if that's the route you're taking!
AND... we require baby tax once you post your birth story. Because babies!!
That's about it! Bumpers are SUPER helpful for whatever you need. If you're having a bad day or a tough time with something - post about it! If you're not sure about something - post about it! Chances are, someone here has gone through it and can offer you some advice.
Please feel free to chime in with whatever for FTMs here. :)
Aug. 31, 2016
I'm a FTM and wish I had seen this list at week 5 instead of week 22. :) Thanks so much for doing this! Also, I LOVE this subreddit - I was just telling my husband this morning how reading this sub makes me feel a bit more prepared for some of the pregnancy blessings I've experienced already. My only comment is I called my insurance agency at week 8 to let them know that I'm pregnant and they set me up on their pregnancy plan - so far it has included a call with a nurse on a set schedule and sent me Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy: From Doctors Who Are Parents, Too! which has been pretty helpful.
Joining the club - what book should I be reading? [R]6 years agoMay 9, 2013
My wife is about 3.5 months along and I'm looking to know this kind of stuff: What I need to do to prepare, what to expect shortly after birth and general parenting.
I read "Dude You're Going to Be A Dad" and it was good, but I'm all ears about suggestions.